Matt: There have been too many significant events to put into one post and we’re still in transition. The short version is I’m doing really well and have been following time-restricted eating when I can. My new job is amazing but the in-office policy has thrown where we will be living and when we are moving there into uncertainty. And Annie’s speech therapy business is now OPEN! What follows are the details from Annie.

April Highlights: Matt started his new job and enjoys the new challenges, culture and coworkers. We started working on projects to get the house ready to be put on the market (new driveway and mending fences after tree removal). Matt canceled scans since they had been scheduled for his first day of work.

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May Highlights: More house projects are completed (constructed screens for some windows, painted the front door, painted the kitchen and bathroom cabinets, light fixture changes, spread dump-truck loads of mulch, power washed patio…). We started getting every-other-week pickups from Working Hands Farm (community supported agriculture). If you got a text from Matt it likely included a broccoli emoji. Matt rode Faith for the first time.

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June Highlights: House went pending 3 days after listing–we were shocked at how quick everything happened (see Matt with the laptop–how do we choose a buyer??)! I ended my 13 year public education career with many well wishes. A trip to the Bay Area for house hunting was unfruitful, but gave us important insights into addressing cracks in our communication and expectations. While there we also managed getting bids for work needing to be done on the house (new roof, sewer line…) so that closing could happen in July–ugh adulting! We learned that return-to-office was postponed to September.

July Highlights: Matt learned that the company had started allowing people to work from various offices, so maybe he didn’t have to be in San Francisco. A Seattle area move was now a possibility. We had our 15 year wedding anniversary! Matt learned that his company would be opening a Portland office, but not yet having space for his role there. The house was SOLD and $$ put in the bank. Return-to-office got pushed to October. We started apartment hunting in the area for short-term leases that allowed 3 pets and got the non-essentials into storage. Minimalism is different for being in a house vs. an apartment!

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August Highlights: I finally (after 11 years living there) weeded the entire yard–such satisfaction. We moved to an apartment the same day the home buyer was to take occupancy–major THANK YOUs to my dad and older brother for the help (multiple trips up and down 3 flights of stairs in 95 degree heat). We’re now only 3 miles from Faith! Return-to-office got pushed to January 2022. The pets adjusted to apartment life while we lived out of suitcases. We started going to counseling–it’s amazing!

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September Highlights: We took a day trip to Bellevue, Washington, an office location possibility–trees for days! Matt hasn’t scheduled any scans and doesn’t feel the need to at this time. He’s been keeping up with getting blood testing done to monitor levels for the oral chemo he’s been on all this time. He has also pursued additional testing to check other vitamin and hormone levels (at home lancing and blood drops on cards sent away–and he didn’t faint). He keeps taking charge of his own health with regular workouts in our apartment gym and living that vegan life!

I got out cycling with my dad which is always a treat and something I never could have done mid-week and mid-day in Septembers past. This really is the very best of seasons in our little corner of the world! Matt and I went to Mt. Angel’s Oktoberfest (disappointed that the Lions Club was not there for me to get a “streaker in the hay” brat & kraut, so I kept it vegan for the evening with just ein bier bitte). I turned 39 and I’m feeling fine. Oh, and I published my business website!

It has felt really healthy to have had these September weeks of NOT “going back to school”, but I just can’t keep away from doing what I love to do–helping people share their thoughts and feelings. So much so, that I asked if I could come “play” with my nephews and proceeded to bring over a game and speech sound production cards. They want me to come back with another game soon and I’ll keep subtly working on those Rs and Ss. “Super stinky soccer socks” is a particularly effective and accurate phrase for my nephews–ha ha!

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Annie: On Wednesday March 31, 2021 I resigned from my job and then a few hours later, Matt resigned from his.

Leading up to this date, I had started to pursue setting up my own speech therapy private practice. I overcame loads of imposter syndrome, perfectionism, and analysis paralysis, as I, little-by-little, started to get my ducks in a row. April 1st was the deadline to either accept or decline the new 2-year contract in the job I’d had for 13 years. I was terrified (in my own serene-looking way) to make that big a change with so many big unknowns.

One of the big unknowns was healthcare. Matt is on my insurance and it has been a blessing to have that coverage. I had started to look at what self-employed health insurance would cost after my last workday (June 21) while waiting for Matt’s next “open enrollment” at his workplace. I kept reminding myself that God would provide.

In the meantime, Matt had the opportunity to interview for a new job and went through to become the top candidate. He accepted the position on Tuesday March 30th. Wow, God just provided the solution to our healthcare coverage conundrum!

Matt will start his new job remotely April 19th as the office is still closed due to Covid-19. It is expected to reopen in August…in San Francisco, California! While we still say prayers that somehow we can stay here in the Pacific Northwest, we’re also getting excited about the possibilities of this new adventure.

That’s right, after having just “put my big girl pants on,” starting a private practice and finally getting my kitchen remodeled, we’re looking to sell our home and move to the Bay Area. I guess what I’ve done the past year and a half was just training for doing it all over again–starting a business and getting a house fixed up just like I like–I think it’ll go more smoothly this time!

We’ve started to poke around the internet for a home. My dream would be to have an in-home dedicated therapy space or detached therapy office on my home property.

I’ve also been looking at stables/farms in the Bay Area where I can board Faith. Her current home is also for sale–the listing is live today and she got to “model” in the listing video (not yet live). Congratulations to Katie and Allan on this big decision too–we’re saying prayers for your next adventure as well!

We would have liked to tell more of you our news in-person, but felt this was the most COVID friendly way to do so.

Matt: Let’s get in the weeds for a minute. Treatment of disease is obviously important, but often should only be the tip of the iceberg. Many threats to the body impact more than one system or organ and shouldn’t be viewed in isolation. From what I’ve learned, healing often requires full body participation. Reaching back to possible causes of a chronic condition is emotionally difficult but can unlock healing not directly treatable by a pill. Most of us experience trauma at some point in our lives. Physical effects of trauma can live in our bodies for years after a traumatic event. Chronic trauma conditions your body to adopt an unnatural, unhealthy state of being that may cause DNA damage that can lead to cancer.

Enter the vagus nerve and polyvagal theory.

The vagus nerve is actually a much bigger deal than I realized. It runs the length of your back and innervates everything from your smile to your digestion. It also initiates the release of the chemicals your body needs during traumatic events. But too much of these chemicals for too long is toxic!

Polyvagal theory outlines the role of the vagus nerve in regulating three primary emotional states. Throughout our lives we may experience moments of fight-or-flight, withdrawal, or healthy social engagement. Certain body movements informed by polyvagal theory seek to ease your body out of chronic ‘fight-or-flight’ or ‘lifeless-shutdown’ states and into one prepared for healthy social connection.

Some of these healing modalities are admittedly on the fringe and have no clinically supported evidence of healing people of cancer. However, I found this theory after reflecting on why my vocal cord became paralyzed. There was a tumor interfering with a branch of the vagus nerve that leads to my left vocal cord. I have also experienced prolonged trauma during certain periods of my life. There is still so much unknown about the human body. Anything that contributes to a healthy internal environment is worth pursuing.

Polyvagal theory is also known by some in the horse training community and one Annie was already familiar with. It’s beautiful discovering other examples of how creation is wired for social community and peace. It also bears pointing out that the emotional state of ‘lifeless-shutdown’ may appear peaceful on the surface, but is toxic long term. We need to be honest with ourselves, ask for help, and truly love each other.

I found this resource and adopted the exercises mentioned in Accessing The Healing Power Of The Vagal Nerve. I view this as yoga for your nervous system.

Speaking of YouTube, I recently started a new project. I’ve noticed a disconnect between food science and simple instructions for preparing meals that can help you heal and prevent disease. With the Millennial and Gen-Z generations oriented around take-out meals or meal prep boxes delivered to their door, there is a need for concise, how-to videos on preparing healing meals. I am no celebrity chef or YouTube star, but have started making videos that get straight to the point and are curated from my favorite recipes. It’s also nice to have another creative outlet during the pandemic. Check out my channel Healing Meals!

My next scans will happen some time in April and I continue to fine tune my protocols. One area I wanted checked was my vitamin D level. Vitamin D is one of the most important vitamins for healing and preventing illnesses like cancer and some autoimmune diseases like multiple sclerosis. My healthcare provider rejected my initial request to include a comprehensive vitamin panel at my regular blood lab. I insisted that my vitamin D and B12 levels get checked during my last in-person meeting. Higher vitamin D levels in the blood increase the production of cathelicidins that have multiple healing functions. The available science points to healthy vitamin D levels between 40 to 80 ng/ml .

My levels were 30.5 ng/ml and I was told those were fine!!

I was surprised I had to advocate so much for this simple test and shocked that my levels were so low despite supplementing through the winter months. I am increasing my supplements to 10,000 IU daily for a while and will re-test myself using a home test kit later in April. Anyone living in northern climates should consider getting their vitamin D levels tested.

Here’s what else I’m loving during this season:

Annie: Matt got a brain MRI and chest/abdomen CT scan on 1/29/2021. I got to join Matt at his results appointment on 2/3/2021: the first time since COVID-19 restrictions started in March 2020. February 3rd was also exactly one year from the date we learned that there was an effective drug for this particular cancer mutation and that Matt’s treatment plan no longer included toxic chemo and radiation!

We had expected to get the written results ahead of the in-person appointment, but they hadn’t arrived. I was nervous as this was going to be my first opportunity to “see” the cancer, but Matt was pretty unfazed reporting a “zero” to the intake nurse about his distress level. Matt’s doctor led off the discussion noting that Matt’s red blood count had increased–a jump of 2 units! I guess rigorous CrossFit training is back on.

Then Matt’s doctor took us through the most recent scans and did a side-by-side comparison with the scans from a year ago. She started with the MRI. There is now a hole (empty space that is shrinking) where the brain tumor was–there is literally nothing there! The doctor said that this area would continue to close up, but that the inflammation that was around it would continue to show up on future scans–his brain is still “angry” that there had been something foreign there. The inflammation, however, was significantly diminished from when there was a brain tumor present–the brain is a closed system, it takes a long time for the healing process to happen.

Next we looked at the CT. This is the trickier scan to interpret as the tumors there did not have clear borders. What I gathered is that there is now no active cancer and that whatever is currently showing up in the scans of the lungs is, again, significantly diminished from a year ago and may just be little scars/inflammation left over. The lungs, similar to the brain, take a long time to heal up. There is still an amorphous shadow in the liver, but again, clearly different (smaller, less definition) from what was there a year ago. We just get to keep growing our patience capacity which is, thankfully, fertilized by hope.

Matt wanted me to also see the PET scan and Bone scan from awhile back and it was really encouraging to see that the spot of cancer that was on his rib is also gone–no cancer in the bones! The PET scan could be rotated in 3D and in-profile, I could clearly tell it was Matt–ha! The doctor was so generous with her time and very encouraged by the healing taking place in Matt’s body. We are grateful for the good care Matt has received.

In non-scan health news, Matt had an optometric appointment and his eyesight has improved by 0.25 in both eyes! This is a normal process for nearsighted people in their 40’s-50’s with muscles becoming a bit more lax, but we’re pretty sure its due to all the carrots (estimating over 600lbs juiced this past year). I’m going to spiritualize this a minute…Matt’s near-sightedness is improving–God is extending our vision far past 2021!

So we’re making big plans and taking big steps–more fun news to come!

Matt: I felt calm going to hospital to get scanned the morning of the 29th. I am not in a rush to heal, but confident in further improvement with each scan. My biggest takeaway from the scan review with the doctors was the change in language used to describe the spots that had obviously been active tumors a year ago. What had been problem areas, are now referred to as areas the doctors do not know whether or not still contain active cancer. So…hooray!?

The weight and urgency of the initial diagnosis has not been matched by the pace and finality of the healing process. Even when I reach a point when the scans do not detect any more problem areas, there can still be circulating tumor cells in the body. As a result, I remain committed to the diet, supplement and lifestyle adjustments I have made. I shared with my oncologist that I turn my phone off roughly an hour before bed and do not even keep it in the bedroom. She openly admired my routine and encouraged my healthy sleep habits. The blood-brain barrier makes the detoxifying process slower than it would be in other parts of the body. Regular, uninterrupted sleep is one of the best things you can do to help your brain heal.

We remain hopeful and confident about the future for many reasons. In the meantime, we can each do our own brain a favor and stop scrolling late at night 🙂

Matt: Hiking in forests always feels therapeutic and is something I’ve always enjoyed doing while growing up in the Pacific Northwest. It’s also exciting when something that feels deeply good and healing is supported by science. Most people don’t need confirmation to spend more time in the great outdoors, but learning the notable impact on human health provides even more motivation. There may not be a cure for cancer, but soaking in God’s creation is one of the many healing activities cancer patients can do.

NutritionFacts.org is one of the best resources I follow for short, interesting dietary tips. Recently, their team aggregated several research studies on the anti-cancer effects of forest bathing. Simply walking in a forest and breathing the air boosts natural killer cells, a crucial cancer-fighting cell in the blood.

I drove to a new trailhead to try this out on a glorious, sunny winter day. Larch Mountain is a stunning lookout in the Cascades, from which you can view five major snow-capped peaks. Due to winter road closures, the final 3 miles leading up to the parking lot and lookout had to be done on foot. Knowing that changes were taking place in my body while on the hike was an added benefit to the day. Near the summit I sat down under a tree off the path, closed my eyes, and breathed deeply. I recommend it!

January 2021 marks one full year since my diagnosis. I have been reflecting on the fact that many stage 4 patients don’t live this long. Those that do, don’t always have an enjoyable quality of life.

I don’t yet consider myself a survivor, but have been wondering what type of support groups are available for someone like me. COVID lockdowns are making community and shared experiences absolutely priceless.

Fortunately a friend mentioned a national faith-based organization called Healing Strong with a local chapter nearby. Due to COVID related lockdowns, the Healing Strong January meeting was a virtual one. During my first virtual gathering with the group, there was fantastic conversation, prayer, and joy shared among the five of us. Future meetings will hopefully return to in-person. The local chapter has roughly 20 people currently and I look forward to meeting more of them in the future.

Matt: My last scans were on October 26th and included a CT scan of my chest and a full body bone scan. The results continue to amaze my doctor and me. The measurable tumors in my lungs seem to be gone and the haziness continues to improve. The lymph nodes seem to have returned to normal size. My liver tumors are greatly reduced. Did I mention I haven’t had a drop of alcohol this entire year?! The doctors didn’t really discuss the metastasis to my bones at my initial diagnosis, but the bone scan did confirm that my vertebrae and rib are now normal.

It is strange to see a skeleton around Halloween time and know it is YOU! My rolled ankle from a soccer game in February showed up on the scan and is still healing.

I had hoped each of the past couple scans could be my last one showing active cancer. However, the cadence of scans will still be every few months (next ones are scheduled for February 2021). There is promising research on a new blood test called the Ivy Gene Test to monitor levels of certain types of cancer in the body, which could potentially limit the need for scans.

The targeted chemotherapy medicine continues to suppress my red blood count. My capacity to exercise is notably less than normal and I hope in time I can return to the soccer field at full force. For now it is a lesson in doing what I can and believing I’ll see a change.

I decided to stop taking the ‘dog medicine’ (Fenbendazole) due to learning of mixed long term results and the anecdotal nature of some of the survivor stories. Many of the foods and supplements I’m already taking, including curcumin, green tea, veggie juice (quercetin, apigenin), block similar cancer pathways that Fenbendazole does. When given the option, I prefer the natural way! Some of the more amazing turnaround stories from people who took Fenbendazole, did so concurrently with an immunotherapy drug. Stanford University recently joined a couple other research universities to better understand the synergies between existing immunotherapy treatments and Febendazole.

Recently I found this great visual from someone who is helping her husband heal from and prevent cancer naturally. https://adventureswithjodi.com/cancer-pathway_charts/

An article published just last year on my exact genetic mutation type concluded with this:

“Lastly, diet should be taken into consideration as an extra source of
heterogeneity when studying metabolic parameters in patients… We foresee a
future in which modulation of systemic metabolism can be incorporated
to the conventional treatment of lung cancer patients, where metabolic
parameters might become as important as genetic mutations in the
treatment of [non-small cell lung cancer] NSCLC.”! (https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/31238096/)

Regardless of the means, I am thankful for the progress and praising God for the healing I’ve experienced. I am also thankful that we were kept safe during the wildfires in September. On top of healing from lung cancer and navigating a society plagued by an airborne virus, in September most of the West Coast experienced air quality that was outright hazardous to breathe! Below are pictures taken from our yard before and after. The one on the left is not a sepia filter, it’s smoke!

Annie and I have been occasional teachers in a small home/digital church. It is a joy to maintain community, even if it is small, and to have an outlet for the movement of the Holy Spirit in our lives. The Gospel and God’s teaching are obviously the priority, but I do fight a strong urge to teach what I am learning about vegetables! Maybe I’ll do both at some point 🙂

Here’s what else we’re loving this season:

https://kisstheground.com/

Annie: I have hope, for all things! There is so much hard in 2020, but we find joy in small moments, and when we can’t, movement can unlock the joy!

Or, just a glimpse at God’s goodness on Earth

Matt: I had a chest CT scan and brain MRI on Thursday 8/6 and went over the results with my doctor this past Tuesday. In short, the tumors are shrinking rapidly and I’m making a good recovery.

I am thankful, but I left of doctor’s office with some feelings of impatience. I remain expectant of a full recovery, but can’t help feeling like a kid on a road trip saying ‘are we there yet!?’.

It was my first time seeing images of my internal organs and I’m thankful I waited until now to view them. Emotionally, I know I could not handle the images if I had seen them back in January. The tumors in my brain were an alarming size, but have shrunk significantly. My lung images showed a cloudiness that is greatly reduced and no notable tumors to speak of.

I also now understand why radiologists have jobs. While an x-ray is fairly simple to distinguish bone from soft tissue, internal 3D images of soft tissue require some interpretation. The swollen lymph node between my bronchial tubes that was interfering with my recurrent laryngeal nerve, ultimately the reason for my hoarse voice, has greatly reduced. As a result, I can now speak almost normally.

I am pleased, but also amazed at how long recovery can take. I am amazed at how something so powerful can creep in undetected for so long. I continue to enjoy my diet regimen and have recently added a daily homemade lemon and garlic (allicin) extract taken with water. I am now warding off cancer and vampires! Annie is not excited by this new protocol.

7/8/2020 Today is our 14th Wedding Anniversary! Matt picked three flowers from the yard for me and declared, “Flower arranging is hard!” What he may lack as a floral design technician, he makes up for with sweet, sweet, words:

Front of card: Shall we stick by each other as long as we live? -Walt Whitman

Back in early January as I prepared the new calendar for the 2020 year, I hesitated a moment before I wrote in our anniversary, wondering whether we would be celebrating it together or not. I chose the prophetic act of writing it in and last night in my prayers thanked God for so many years already and many more to come!

So 2020 has been the Year of Years for, I think, ALL of us! Matt’s cancer diagnosis, our church dissolving in late February, COVID-19, racial injustice exposed and who’s to say what is still to come…

Yes, lots of awful heart-and-gut-wrenching things. Yet, we have seen time and time again how God has taken what was meant for evil and turned it into good (see the story of Joseph in Genesis and his conclusion in chapter 50, verse 20 “As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today”). “See A Victory” by Elevation Worship plays through my mind.

In Matt’s card he mentioned questioning the PowerSheets “best year ever” cards displayed in our home…

One of the ways God has flipped the script on all the bad is that we’ve been confronted with all kinds of issues both as individuals and as partners and have had the time and space to actually address them and work on healing them and growing in new ways of being and doing. Had there not been so many road blocks slowing us down this year, it’s hard to say if there would have been as much good growth in us.

Every time we come face to face with our flaws (ignorance, wrong beliefs, unhealthy patterns…), we have the choice to address them or ignore them. No longer surprising, God provides the resources we need for and in the season we need them. For me, one of the resources has been PowerSheets. This tool uses the language of cultivation to help its users reimagine goal setting processes (think tilling, weeding, fertilizing, pruning and slowed-down sustainable growth) and reminds me of John 15:1-2 “I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinedresser.  Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit.“ Also, the whole chapter is amazing, and Matt got to teach on it a couple of weeks ago!

Here are some other timely resources for us this season:

One more funny…Matt walked up to me this morning and said, “I have some bad news…I think I’m going to get into CrossFit”, so yeah, we’re doing good 😂

ADDENDUM: OUR TEAM HAS WON THE ENGLISH PREMIER LEAGUE, 2020 is LFC’s ❤️🏆

Matt: Last Monday, May 11th, I went in for my first chest CT scan since my diagnosis. Already having a positive MRI result from last month, this was the first time I felt confident going into a scan. As my lower right lung is likely the origin site, I was eager to see the progress in my chest. The scan was done in less than 10 minutes and I would have the results the following day.

On Tuesday afternoon I dialed into the video call to discuss my CT scan and my oncologist was AMAZED! She referred to the speed of my recovery as a ‘near complete response’. The largest problem areas are now less than half the size they were, and there are no new lesions anywhere. The swollen lymph node likely responsible for my weak voice has shrunk considerably and I am encouraged that my normal speaking voice will return soon. Thank you all for your prayers!

Also, last week I was introduced to a new area of healing involving the mind/body connection. I have wrestled with consistently negative thoughts for a very long time. When I was introduced to the work of Dr. Caroline Leaf and her program for rewiring the brain, I got excited. Dr. Leaf has created a mindfulness app that is built on her decades of research around how the brain creates physical structures in response to our thoughts.

The app is called Switch and is a 21 day guided meditation and journaling program. By finding the origin of your thoughts you can weaken negative thoughts, and build a resilient, positive thought life. The background on brain science and how our thoughts can impact our very DNA is amazing. I did my first session before my CT scan and really enjoy the program.

My next scans will be later this summer. We will keep updating the blog with new learnings and perhaps some recipes. Below on the top row from left to right: the mindfulness app, Annie doing her daily devotional with all THREE pets!, a shot from our hike at nearby Tualatin River National Wildlife Refuge. Bottom row from left to right: vegan mac and cheese, butternut squash ‘steaks’ with homemade vegan ranch sauce, and Annie’s darling princess Denali interrupting her workday.

4/7/20 Annie: The vegan chili was amazing! Bulgar wheat made the liquid hearty and gave that substantial meaty mouth-feel. Matt also made a quinoa black bean and bell peppers warm salad with a chili-lime dressing and avocado on the top. Yum!

I’ve been so grateful to have him prep/make meals for us both during this Governor ordered stay-at-home season and know that it’s nourishing to us both, but that’s probably not what you’re here to read about. A couple of days ago the oncology doctor’s clinic called to reschedule his MRI follow-up as a virtual call (Zoom telehealth) rather than a phone call. We wonder if there will be a day when we get a phone call from that number or a message in our healthcare portals that doesn’t immediately cause our bodies to react with adrenaline…perhaps in time.

The doctor said, “Your MRI looks great!” She continued, “The tumors are all decreased in size and the small nodule ones have mostly disappeared.” Exhale. The rest of the conversation was about the next scan to come–a chest and abdomen CT (in May sometime) to check if the targeted treatment is having the same effect there as in the brain. The doctor scheduled her next “visit” with Matt again as a virtual call reiterating that we don’t know how things will be with COVID-19. She was really glad to see Matt doing so well!

Getting off the call I felt joyful and ready to get on with my afternoon. Matt wasn’t quite there. He was disappointed that the MRI was not tumor-free and started to think about whether the treatment was going to keep working. We process differently, we all process differently. Later on in a text, Matt acknowledged that faith as it relates to healing is odd–there can be instant and in-stages, and that his understanding is in a new deeper light. My step-mom responded, “I think we can hear and rely on God more so when the journey is a little longer rather than instant. We learn to trust Him more deeply and give Him permission to do the deep healing work that needs to take place in our lives.”

L-R Top: Masking up to go to the “drive thru” farmer’s market, out of “dog medicine”–onto “horse medicine”, dear friend sent a shipment from Organics to You, Matt telling his soccer buds that he can’t wait to win more “one-size-fits-none” Championship t-shirts with them

L-R Bottom: Working from home candid, beautiful spring day, “this is where I work now!?”, the Word of God next to my dog (my shirt says “I just want all the dogs”)