MP 11

Matt: I had noticed coworkers getting suspicious of how long my voice had been hoarse. I suspected that a couple particularly wise coworkers may have known I was covering up a potentially serious issue. I knew I needed to tell a wider audience and I wanted my team to know. I had been waiting to share an update on my health when I also had a plan of attack. Of the few people around my office who did know my diagnosis, certain individuals would stop by with their own opinions or recommendations. This is not helpful! During this season all I wanted people to say was ‘I see you. I am with you. I will be praying for your total healing.’

On Monday night (2/3/2020) I finally had the courage to email workmates and long-time friends about my health news. In the email I laid out that Annie and I are trusting in Christ for total healing as I walk this path. I also made it clear that I was not going to be entertaining fear, but walk towards health and thanking those on the email for being on my team.

My heart hurt for my long-time friends to learn of my diagnosis, each of whom echoed my own shock and sadness upon hearing the news. It was not my wish to make people sad, but it felt right sharing this news with people who care about me.

Just after sending those emails I received an email from the oncologist saying that the RNA testing was complete. Despite her previous certainty that my diagnosis would not change, the RNA test showed that there is IN FACT a genetic mutation cause for the cancer (expressed in the RNA, but not the DNA) AND that there is a treatment (a long-term targeted oral chemotherapy) that has few/well tolerated side-effects!

This treatment should disrupt the continued growth of tumors and also shrink tumors, even ones in the brain–doctors won’t say it’s a cure, but it could help get me on my way there! I was overjoyed at reading the email and burst into tears. That night Annie and I worshiped and praised God for this turn of events. This was also the first time a doctor used the phrase ‘good news’ since this whole thing started. She was that optimistic about the treatment.

Matthew 10:32 says ‘So everyone who acknowledges me before men, I also will acknowledge before my Father who is in heaven.’ The timing of the diagnosis change is a blessing and came the moment I acknowledged Him.

I was apprehensive about heading into work on Tuesday, not knowing how people would react. Some said nothing or just sent back a cursory email with ‘sending you good vibes’. However, I received unexpected appreciation from others who admired my transparency and positive focus and from others words of hope and promises of prayer. People need community especially when they are walking through a deep valley.